Just A Little Curious
by Ireland Maslow
Summary: Kendall is struggling with the fact he may be gay. James, his openly gay best friend, tries to help him, only to make things worse. Now Kendall won't talk to James and seems to be broken. Will James be able to prove to Kendall he really does care about him? Or is Kendall too upset to forgive him? Kames! M for the first chapter. Sub!Kendall Dom!James
1. I Know You're Curious

**Alright, I know I should do this, but for the past three hours I've been working on this. It just came to mind earlier today while doing the dishes. I already have the second chapter done too. I know I don't need anymore stories going right now, but I couldn't help it! Anyway, this is rated M for a reason, mostly for this chapter. I don't normally write stuff like this, so bare with me. **

**I hope y'all like this. **

* * *

"Kendall, I'm taking Katie and Carlos and dropping them off at the movies before heading to the studio. Are you sure you don't want to go?" Logan asked as he came into the kitchen where Kendall was snacking on grapes. Kendall shook his head no. He didn't feel like going to the movies, and he really didn't want to go sit at the studio. Logan had to go back in to do over some harmonies that got messed up.

"Yeah, I'm good, James should be home soon anyway." Kendall pointed out as he popped another grape in his mouth.

"Alright, see you later," Logan said as they all three left. Kendall grabbed his bowl of grapes and went to the livingroom. He flipped through the TV channels until he settled on re-runs of Jo's show. He and Jo were in an on-again-off-again relationship since she came back. They were currently off again. Kendall wasn't sure if this relationship was worth it anymore. When they were together, it seemed like they did nothing but fight. He wasn't sure what changed, but something did. It could have something to do with his unsureness of what team he played for.

After two episodes of New Town High, the door opened and James walked in.

"Oh, I thought everyone would be out doing something by now." James stated as he walked to the livingroom and sat down. James had a black, plastic bag which laid on the other side of himself from Kendall.

"What'cha get?" Kendall asked, motioning toward the bag. James smirked a little and hesitated before handing the bag to Kendall. The blond looked at the name on the front, which was written in red letter. "The Toy Box? Isn't that the erotica shop down town?" Kendall asked with a raise eyebrow. James shrugged and leaned back on the couch. Kendall opened the bag, peaking inside, before looking at James. He was a bit shocked at what his friend had bought. There was a black and blue bottle and a couple of DVDs. James bought lube and porn? Kendall felt kinda awkward now. Something caught his attention about one of the DVDs and he took them both out. His eyes widened at them.

"James, these are gay porn videos!" James couldn't help but laugh at Kendall's shocked tone.

"What else do you expect a gay guy to watch?" Everyone knew James was gay. He had come out right after turning eighteen. Everyone accepted James as he was, but Kendall had been a little weird around his friend for a few weeks afterwards. Nobody knew Kendall was struggle with the fear he may be the same way. He just never told anyone. James looked at him with a mischievous look on his face. "Wanna watch one?" He asked, smirking at his younger friend. Kendall's eyes went wide.

"I am _**not**_ watching gay porn with you!" Kendall exclaimed as he stood up. His heart was pounding hard in his chest.

"Oh, you're more of an on your own kinda guy, I get it." Kendall was really confused now. He wanted to protest, but his voice wouldn't let him. "I know you watch it on your laptop." James said as if it were the most obvious thing. Kendall froze. His heart was pounding so loud he was sure James could hear it. He had watched it a couple of times. He wanted to see what it did to him. It scared him that he had actually gotten hard watching it.

"It's okay, Kendall, you're curious. How about this, we go to the bedroom, put the movie in and if it makes you uncomfortable or whatever, you can leave. You are curious, aren't you?" Kendall shifted from foot to foot. It would be nice to know for sure. He had never made it past a couple of minutes before he turned the videos off. Kendall thought to himself for a long time.

"Fine," he finally answered. James smirked and stood with his bag in hand. Kendall couldn't believe he just agreed to watch gay porn with his gay best friend. Once in the room they shared together, Kendall sat on his bed while James put one of the DVDs in. James walked over and locked the door.

"Just incase someone comes home," James told Kendall, who was looking extremely nervous. James walked over and sat on Kendall's bed.

"What are you doing?" Kendall asked in pure shock and fear. James chuckled a little as he got comfortable next to Kendall.

"You act like I'm gonna rape you." Kendall's cheeks flushed pink, causing James to laugh a little. Kendall tried to just relax while James started the movie. In the first scene there were two attractive guys making out on a bed. Kendall knew what kissing meant in pornos. He was feeling extremely uncomfortable as clothes started to be removed.

"I thought most pornos started with an actual story line." He said, causing James to laugh at him.

"Do you think if there wasn't an over abundance of sex in porn, people would watch it?" Kendall just shrugged, not really wanting to answer that question. After a couple of minutes, the scene changed to them having sex, which caused Kendall to look away. This was usually where he would stop the videos. He glanced over at James who was focused on the movie. His cheeks flushed pink again when he saw that James was getting hard. Kendall looked back at the screen awkwardly watching the two have sex. He couldn't hold his gaze to it for very long. Maybe he wasn't gay? Maybe that's why he couldn't watch more than a couple of seconds of these videos. He was kind of relieved when the scene finally ended and went on to one like in any other movie.

About halfway through the movie, Kendall was feeling extremely uncomfortable a weird, yet he couldn't bring himself to leave. He was afraid that James would make fun of him for leaving in the middle of the movie. Or for watching this long before deciding he had had enough. Kendall managed to watch this sex scene longer than the others. He was actually hard, even though he didn't want to be. He looked over to see if James had noticed. His eyes went wide and his face turned a deep shade of red when he saw James palming himself through his jeans. James let out a small noise of pleasure which really made Kendall uncomfortable.

"You would feel better if you would relax and enjoy it." James pointed out, making eye contact. Kendall looked away because James never stopped touching himself even during the eye contact. Kendall tried to relax and eventually kept moving his hand like he was going to try to pleasure himself, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He finally started to gently stroke his jean clad erection with his finger tips. By the next sex scene, he was palming himself. He looked over at James for a brief second. He couldn't hold his gaze because James had his pants undone and was jacking off. Either he didn't notice Kendall had look at him, or he just didn't care. Kendall peaked again out of the corner of his eye. He just wanted to see if having an exposed guy beside him made him feel anything. James had his fist closed around his length and was moving his hand quickly, making little noises here and there. It was honestly hot. Kendall found himself extremely turned on by watching James.

James was using the lube he had just bought and was breathing heavy now. Kendall felt awkward doing so, but he undid his own pants. He tried to jack off like James was, but couldn't keep his hand moving. He kept stopping to look away from the TV and James. He was really having a hard time enjoying himself in this situation. James noticed and stopped what he was doing and grabbed the lube. James had been attracted to Kendall for a while now and really wanted him in some way. He figured for now he would just help him get off.

"Here, use this," he told the struggling blond. Kendall shyly took the lube and put some in his hand and started rubbing his hand up and down his shaft again. James noticed after a couple of strokes, Kendall seemed to be having trouble enjoying himself again. James chuckled, "here, let me try something." He grabbed the lube and some in his right hand and reached toward Kendall, who stopped him.

"What are you doing?" Kendall asked, seeming scared.

"Just relax," James told him as he took Kendall's shaft in his hand. Kendall's breath hitched in his throat and his body tensed up at the touch. Nobody, not even girls had touched him there. That's right, the Kendall Knight was a virgin. The moment just never seemed right for him to do anything with girls. James watched Kendall's face as he tried to pleasure him. He started to twist his hand when he would reach the tip. It didn't take long before Kendall was panting and gasping. He never knew it would feel so good to be jacked off by another guy.

"J-James, I don't know about this. I shouldn't be enjoying it." Kendall reached down to make James stop.

"Kendall, it's okay, it's just a hand job. It's not like we're having sex." James pointed out. After staring at James for a moment, Kendall removed his hand from James', allowing him to go back to pleasuring the blond. Kendall leaned his head back against the headboard and closed his eyes, trying to focus on the pleasure rather than who was giving it to him. James smirked and sped up his hand movements. He liked that Kendall was enjoying himself so much. The blond was panting and moaning softly. It wasn't long before he was thrusting up into James' hand.

After a couple more minutes, James grabbed the lube again. He squirt some down Kendall's shaft, using his hand to smear it around. Kendall let out a breathy curse at the added slickness. It made him feel more pleasure now that it was wetter.

"That feels good," Kendall moaned out as he thrusted up into James' hand.

"See, you just had to relax," James replied with a small chuckle. It didn't take much longer before Kendall was cumming all over himself and James' hand. James continued to pump Kendall until he was done. James grabbed some tissues off the night stand and cleaned his hand off. He handed a few to Kendall so he could clean himself up. "So, are you curious about anything else?" James smirked as Kendall zipped his pants back up after getting cleaned up. Kendall didn't answer, he just stood up off the bed and left the room. James was confused at first but then figured that Kendall was feeling confused about what just happened.

James quickly took care of his own horniness, which only took a couple of strokes since he had gotten extremely turned on by Kendall. After he was done, he cleaned himself up. He did his pants back up and got off the bed. He put the lube and DVDs back in the bag and then stuck them under his bed. He walked out of the bedroom and found Kendall was in the bathroom. The door was open and Kendall was splashing water on his face.

"Are you okay?" James asked, leaning against the door frame.

"No... I don't know... James, I can't be gay," Kendall said, sounding honestly scared. James could tell he was really having a hard time with this.

"Kendall, just because you enjoyed getting a hand job from a guy doesn't mean you're gay. What just happened was hot and brought you pleasure, it's natural. There's nothing wrong with being a little curious about this stuff either." James told him, hoping to help Kendall.

"You don't understand, James." Kendall said before pushing past James in a hurry.

"Kendall!" James yelled as the blond ran out of the apartment. James had just been trying to help Kendall sort out his feelings. He knew had been curious about gay relations. He caught him watching gay porn late at night. Kendall hadn't known he woke up to find him watching it. He wasn't trying to upset Kendall or confuse him farther. He was attracted to Kendall, but he didn't want to do anything to damage their friendship. He had thought this would help Kendall and put an end to him wanting Kendall. It didn't do either though. He more attracted to Kendall now.

He sighed and got a root beer out of the fridge before going to the couch. He turned the TV on and flipped through the channels. He figured it wouldn't matter what was on, he was too busy thinking about the blond. He wanted to give Kendall time to himself, but he also wanted to go after him to make sure he was okay.

* * *

**Like I said, I normally don't write like this, but I just had to write this. I have the next chapter done already, so if you want it, I'll post it. But only if I get feed back on what you thought. So let me know if you want to see more, otherwise, I'll take this down. Let me know if you want more. **

**Review please. :)**


	2. How Could You?

**Since you seem to want the next chapter, here it is. I've been working on the third chapter too, but I have other stories in progress which I'm also working on. So I'm kinda jumping back and forth between them. Oh, and I do want to point out that I do proofread my chapters, but I'm sure there are still mistakes here and there. Sorry if there are. **

**Thank you for reviewing! I honestly thought I was just going to get like maybe two reviews, but I got FIVE! Thank you! **

* * *

"Hey," Logan said as he closed the door.

"Hey," James replied, his tone sounding disappointed, which Logan picked up on.

"You okay?" He asked, coming over to sit next to his friend.

"I think I did something really stupid." James confessed, leaning forward to put his head in his hands.

"What do you mean?" Logan asked, getting a little worried. James wasn't sure he should tell Logan what happened. He figured as long as he didn't tell him it was Kendall, it would be fine. He knew Kendall wouldn't want anyone to know James gave him a hand job while watching gay porn.

"I gave a hand job to a guy who was curious about gays. Afterwards, he wouldn't talk to me and when I tried asking if he was okay, he got upset, said I didn't understand why he couldn't be gay, and left. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I was only trying to help him, but I think I made it worse." Logan seemed taken back by the situation. He didn't think that was what James was going to tell him.

"Well, maybe you need to go talk to him and let him know you were just trying to help." James sighed and rubbed his hands over his face.

"The problem there, is that I don't know where he's at."

"Do you care about him?"

"Of course I do!" James said, looking over at Logan. He really wished he could tell Logan exactly what was going on, but he kept it to himself. No one knew about his crush.

"If you really care about him, then you'll go find him and make this right." James let out a groan. He knew Logan was right. This wasn't going to get better unless they talked it out.

"Fine," James said, standing up and leaving the apartment. He wasn't sure where Kendall could have gone. He went to the lobby, the pool, the park, and then double checked them. He didn't think Kendall would have gone to the studio. He decided to check the ice rink down the road from The Palm Woods. After getting to the rink, he walked in and looked around. Kendall didn't have his gear, so it was doubtful that he would be on the ice. He finally located the blond sitting on one of the benches with his head in hands. He walked over and stood next to him.

"James, just leave me alone, please," Kendall said in a begging tone.

"Not until you talk to me." James said stubbornly. "Kendall, I didn't mean to make things more complicated for you. I was just trying to help."

"I know, James, I know. I'm not mad at you." Kendall rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands before looking at James. "What am I going to do if I really am gay? What are people going to say? What will my family think? My fans? The media?" Kendall's tone showed just how scared he was.

"Kendall, remember when I came out? How hard it was for me? Then Gustavo saying that me being gay was going to really up the bands status? Once I came out, I had thousands of mean comments every day. People telling me how gross I was, how much they hated me being gay, fans saying that I couldn't be gay because then they couldn't have me. They made me feel like I made a mistake, that I _**was**_ a mistake. But you know what? I don't care about that anymore. I have more people who support me than those who hate me." Kendall stared down at the floor for a long time before looking up at James.

"How did you know? That you were gay, I mean."

"I knew once I realized I was more attracted to a certain guy than any girl before him. I couldn't have him, so I found someone else, a girl. I denied it at first, said I was just getting the feelings confused. But while I was dating that girl, I was thinking about that guy. I broke up with her because it wasn't fair to her since I didn't know what I was. I finally accepted that I was gay after a year of denying it, maybe longer now that I think back." James said, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. He wanted to tell Kendall that he was that certain guy, but didn't want to scare him more. He had always kinda gravitated toward the blond from the time they met.

"Who was the guy?" Kendall asked without looking at James. James bit his lip. He didn't want to lie, but he also didn't want to tell Kendall it was him.

"You don't know him," he knew that was a stupid lie. Him and the guys hadn't been apart much since they met, so there were very few people they didn't all know. Growing up in a small Minnesota town didn't help either.

"Who was it, James?" Kendall asked again, looking up with a knowing look in his eyes, along with fear. James looked into Kendall's green eyes, still biting his lip. "It's me, isn't it? You like me? Oh man, I just let you do... that... to me while you have a crush on me. You took advantage of me for your own pleasure? What did you think? That I was going to enjoy it and let you take it farther? Is that why you asked if I was curious about anything else? You're a pervert!" Kendall didn't care that he was yelling. James couldn't stand seeing the hurt look on Kendall's face or the tears in his beautiful green eyes. He thought James was trying to help, but now he realized that James was trying to fill his sick fantasy.

"Kendall, I do like you, but that wasn't why I did that. I swear I wasn't trying to take advantage of you! I didn't even mean for it to go as far as it did!" James said in a begging tone. Kendall just shook his head as the tears escaped.

"You know what, just don't talk to me, and don't you dare ever touch me again." Kendall turned and walked away from James. James knew he had to find a way to make this right. He had to prove to Kendall that he wasn't trying to hurt him. That was never the point of what he did. He didn't mean to hurt the blond. James stood and started back home. He tried to think of what he could do to make things better. Talking to Kendall wasn't going to help and neither would having someone else talk to him. Maybe Kendall just needed time. He couldn't stay mad at him forever could he? He decided it was best to just leave Kendall alone for now. Maybe convince Logan or Carlos to switch rooms for the time being. He wanted Kendall to come around on his own time. He wasn't going to force it. He really wanted Kendall to understand that he cared about him.

* * *

Kendall wasn't at the apartment when James got back but Carlos and Logan were. He explained that they had a fight and asked if one of them would switch rooms for a while. Carlos offered to do it, which James was thankful for. Logan stared at him for a long time. James hoped he didn't figure it out. But being the brainiac he was, he would put two and two together. He would have to deal with that when the time came. James and Carlos moved what they need to each other's rooms. This wasn't a permanent switch, so they wouldn't have to move all their stuff. He kind of wished Logan was switching with him. He didn't want to be stuck in the same room with Logan once he started to put it all together. Which wouldn't take long. He knew it was just a matter of time before he was asking questions.

It was close to nine that night before Kendall returned home. He didn't even look at James, he just went to the bedroom. Kendall stopped before getting on the bed, remembering what happened there this afternoon. I just shook his head and stripped the comforter and sheets from the bed. He piled them up in the corner of the room and went to get the extra blankets his mom kept in her room. He couldn't bring himself to sleep on the bedding he was taken advantage of on. It was bad enough he had to sleep in the same bed. He felt betrayed. He never thought that his best friend would be the one to take advantage of him, to use him. It just wasn't right. Was James really that big of a perv?

Kendall felt the tears coming again. He tried to think of something else. He was honestly hurt by what James did. He had always been a little attracted to James, but he didn't think anything of it. Until he thought he was gay, that is. He couldn't believe James tried to convince him he was helping when really he was looking for a way to get Kendall to willing let him molest him. Kendall crawled into his bed, not caring that it was only nine. He just wanted to sleep. He didn't want to think about this anymore. He wished it hadn't happened. He wished he had just told James no and left. He really felt dirty now, like he had been molested by a creep. He couldn't help but view James that way. He felt taken advantage of and that wasn't going away any time soon.

* * *

**Aw, poor Kendall. :( Like I said, I am working on the next chapter. But I will be away this weekend from tomorrow afternoon until sometime Sunday. I'm spending the weekend with my best friend. :D**

**Review please! :D Oh, and to new readers, if you like me, I have a Facebook "fan page." I normally post about my stories, let you know when they've been updated and or ask for suggestions if I'm having trouble. I also post pics of the BTR guys sometimes. It's Ireland Maslow, it's should be the first thing that comes up. So "Like" it if you want. :)**


	3. You're Not A Victim

**Sorry it took so long for me to update! I kinda lost motivation to work on the stories I have going. But I managed to find some for this story. I started working on two oneshots also. One is James and one of my OCs with Adam Young a.k.a Owl City and my best friend's OC. The other is a JamesxLucy oneshot. Both will be finished and posted on the 22nd of this month, which is the 3 year anniversary of me being a part of this wonderful website. :D**

**Thank you for all the reviews! I honestly didn't expect this story to go over as well as it already has! Please keep it up! I love reading them! :D**

* * *

"Kendall! You have to talk to me sometime!" James had been desperately trying to get Kendall to talk to him. It had been a week since what happened in the bedroom. James really regretted what he did. Kendall wouldn't give him the time of day though. Kendall slammed the bedroom door in James' face, locking it so he couldn't get in. James closed his eyes and sighed heavily before turning and going to the other room. He had to talk to Kendall, and it had to be when nobody was home, which wasn't often. He wasn't sure how to get the blond to listen. He had tried everything, he even texted him. Kendall probably didn't read it, just deleted it. James was pacing in the livingroom, biting his lip, and racking his brains. There had to be a way to get him to listen. There just had to be. He wasn't about to let his stupidity ruin their life long friendship.

"You okay, dude?" James jumped at the voice and turned to see Logan and Carlos by the door. He stared for a moment before shaking his head. "Is this about the guy from the other day?" Logan asked as he walked toward his taller friend. James just nodded. He was surprised Logan hadn't figured out that it was Kendall yet. It was obvious there was something off between the two. He knew it wouldn't be long before Logan knew.

"What guy?" Carlos asked, falling on the couch on his side. He flipped the TV on and started through the channels.

"It's nothing," James answered, not feeling like talking about it.

"But I want to know," Carlos whined. James sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Long story short, I gave a hand job to a guy who thought he might be gay, he got mad, and now won't talk to me." He was a little taken back when Carlos burst into laughter.

"I guess he's not really gay then," the latino said once he stopped laughing. James just shook his head and went to the kitchen. Logan followed him and leaned against the counter while James raided the fridge.

"Do you want to talk about it?" James knew this kind of stuff made Logan uncomfortable. James chuckled a little and shook his head.

"I'll figure it out somehow." He noticed Logan seemed to relax a little.

"Well, you can talk to me if you need to. Maybe I can help?" He said, seeming unsure. James was sure there wasn't much Logan could do to help. Unless he can magically convince Kendall to talk to him. Which he was beginning to believe wouldn't happen. They heard the bedroom door open and footsteps. Kendall didn't even make eye contact with James when he walked into the kitchen. He was dressed in a sky blue tank top and grey sweat pants with running shoes. He grabbed a bottle of water before heading toward the door. James waited for a couple of minutes before leaving. He had to talk to Kendall. He wasn't dressed for running, but he was faster than Kendall, so it didn't really matter.

He caught up to Kendall, who didn't even acknowledge him.

"Kendall, we need to talk about what happened."

"No, we don't, what happened was a mistake," Kendall said. The blond sped up his jog a little, implying the conversation was over. James wasn't taking no for an answer.

"How long are you going to stay mad?" James asked, Kendall caught him off guard when he stopped.

"How long am I going to stay mad? James you... you molested me," he said quietly. "People don't just get over that over night."

"I didn't mean for that to happen! I got caught in the moment!" James pleaded, Kendall looked off to the side.

"When you come up with a better excuse, I'll be around," with that, Kendall started running again. James didn't bother chasing after him. He felt all the emotions he had building up inside. He reached up and ran a hand through his hair before kicking the nearby building. He stood there for a moment before deciding the only thing he could do was head back to the apartment. One way or another, he would make this right.

* * *

Kendall kept pushing himself to run faster. He wasn't used to running, it made his heart rate go wild and his muscle ache. But he enjoyed that. The burn and pain made him almost forget James. They had been friends since pre-school and now this had to happen? It just wasn't fair. Kendall remembered Katie saying that friendships like their's normally ended as the friends got older, but he didn't believe her. Maybe she was right. He didn't want to lose James as a friend, but he didn't see how their friendship could be the same after what James did. He also was worried about losing Logan and Carlos. They would be torn between two people who aren't friends anymore. That wouldn't be fair to them. The band would be over and they would disappoint thousands of people.

Kendall stopped running, leaning against a nearby wall before doubling over. He was breathing heavy and dripping sweat. He wasn't sure how long he had been running. After somewhat catching his breath, he stood up straight. He looked around and realized he was a good ways from The Palm Woods. He decided to walk back instead of run. He wasn't entirely ready to go back, but he had nowhere else to go. Someone was renting out space in the studio, all his friends were at The Palm Woods, and he didn't have any money on him. He hoped that maybe James went somewhere so he could have at least an hour to himself.

Kendall worried about when people realized something was off between him and James. What if they started asking questions? What if James told them what happened? What if he makes it sound like Kendall wanted it to happen? Did he want it to happen? No, he couldn't have! But he didn't really do anything to stop it from happening. He _did_ allow it to happen. But that doesn't mean he _wanted _it to happen, right? He was just confused and got caught up in the moment. It wasn't supposed to happen.

By the time Kendall got back to the apartment the muscles in his legs were burning. All he wanted to do was get a cold bottle of water and crash on the couch for a while. Nobody was in the apartment, at least not in the main part anyway. He had seen Logan in the lobby and Carlos was by the pool. He wasn't sure where his mom, Katie or James were at. Kendall collapsed on the couch and drank half the bottle of water. He moved to lay on his back and stared at the ceiling. It was nice to just sit in the quiet and relax. After a few minutes of staring at the white ceiling, he moved to put his arm over his face, burying it in the crook of his bent elbow. He shut his eyes and laid there. He could faintly hear people down at the pool, but it wasn't too loud.

He began to drift off to sleep, but was woken up by someone's footsteps. He moved his arm to see who it was and felt his heart stop when he saw James. The brunette looked away and kept walking toward the kitchen. He started getting stuff out of the fridge. Kendall tried not to look at him, tried to just ignore him, and continue relaxing.

"Do you want a sandwich?" James asked, Kendall looked over at him for a second before shaking his head. He didn't say anything, trying to show James he was ignoring him. It seemed to work because James didn't say another word to the blond. After James made his sandwich, he sat down at the counter and ate quietly. The tension and awkwardness could be felt throughout the room. Kendall put his arm back over his face, trying his best to pretend James wasn't there. He kept peaking though, it felt like he couldn't trust James. He hated that feeling, but he couldn't make it go away either.

"So, are you just going to pretend I don't exist now?" James asked, sounding a bit hurt. Kendall didn't move or say anything. "Fine, you know what, be that way." James stood up and made the couple of steps to be standing in front of Kendall, who moved to rest on his elbows. "I didn't do anything wrong! If you didn't want it to happen, you would have stopped me! It doesn't matter that it felt good, if you really had a problem with it, you would have stopped it! Quit acting like I raped you! You let it happen! The only person you have to blame is yourself! Had you really had a problem with it, I would have stopped! All you had to do was tell me you really didn't want it to go that far! You're not a victim, Kendall! Quit acting like one! It was your own fault it happened! I was trying to help! Believe me or don't, I don't care anymore! But I'm telling the truth! You should have pushed me away! You should have gotten up! But no, you laid there and you enjoyed it! If you want to be upset about something, be upset that you were stupid enough to let it happen!" James was yelling so loud it hurt his throat. He had tears stinging his eyes from anger and hurt. He held eye contact with Kendall, who looked about ready to cry, for a few seconds longer before storming toward the bedrooms.

Kendall heard the bedroom door slam shut as hard as it could. He moved to sit up on the couch with his elbows on his knees and head resting in his hands. He fought back the tears the best he could. James was right. If he really did want it to stop, he would have tried harder. But now that it happened, he didn't like it. Kendall wasn't sure what to feel. Part of him said that James was right, but the other part said that he was wrong, and it wouldn't have mattered what he said, James would have done it anyway. That part told Kendall that James was a sick pervert who used him. He wasn't sure which part was telling the truth. Would James have actually stopped if he pushed him away? Or would he have been too into it and forced Kendall to enjoy it? Kendall didn't want to admit he was just playing the victim. Maybe all this was his fault.

The only thing Kendall knew for sure was that this wouldn't get better anytime soon.

* * *

**Aw, poor, confused Kendall. I feel bad for him. :( I also feel bad for James. Who do you think is to blame?**  
**I hope you like this chapter! I've been working on for the past couple of hours. It's now almost 2 AM and I just finished. I was pretty pleased with the ending. **

**Review please! **


End file.
